How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it’s electrified.
Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.
Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.
Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?
Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
Why are violas so large?
It is an optical illusion. It’s not that the violas are large, just that the viola player’s heads are so small.