Zelle

Joke No1

What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A chain saw has a dynamic range.

 

 

Joke No2

What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? Their personality.

 

 

Joke No3

If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.

 

Joke No4

What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion? No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Joke No1

How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.

 

Joke No2

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? Violists.

 

Joke No3

A BASS PLAYER walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, “Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000.” “No problem! I’ll write you a check!” “Very good, sir.” says the shop owner. “Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared.” So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: “How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn’t a single penny in your checking account!!” “I just had to come by,” grinned the guy, “to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!”

 

 

Joke No1

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson? Because he’d already done the sharps and flats.

 

Joke No2

What do you say to the bass player in the three piece suit? Will the defendant please rise.

 

Joke No3

What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.

 

Joke No4

What do you get if you drop an organ on an army base? A flat major.

 

Joke No5

Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright? It makes a louder noise, when you drop it off a cliff.

 

Joke No6

Why was the organ invented? So the bass players would have a place to put his beer.

 

Joke No7

What does a German Hammond organist do in his life’s most tender moments? He puts his Leslie on “slow”.The organ is the instrument of worship for in its sounding we sense the majesty of God and in its ending we know the Grace of God.

1245 West 9th Street Upland, CA 91786-5706 jimmy@allevacoppolo.com Phone: (909) 981-9019
 

Joke No1

What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A snake in the brass!

 

Joke No2

1st man: “My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o’clock this morning!” 2nd man: “Did they wake you?” 1st man: “Nah… I was up playing my bass guitar.

 

Joke No3

 

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. The piano player can do that with his left hand.

Michael Tobias Design, also known as MTD, have been manufacturing uniquely high-quality bass guitars for almost twenty years and its direct predecessor, Tobias Guitars, was originally founded in 1977. In their small workshop at Woodstock, New York, Tobias himself along with two helpers make around ten bass guitars every month but access to this quality of product has been extended thanks to large-scale manufacturing abroad, all of which stays true to Tobias`s original design. The Kingston range, along with the Heir and Saratoga options, are examples of these guitars which offer MTD-level quality at a much more affordable price range.


The Kingston basses are constructed with a solid mahogany core and topped with burled maple, which assures the perfect combination of impressive design and flawless performance. The Kingston basses are an ideal choice for the discerning musician as they are renowned for their clarity, feel and response, all of which combine to create an unparalleled playing experience and excellent sound. The Kingston guitars share certain features across the range, including the ergonomic body and asymmetrical neck design, but there are also numerous variations, including the `Jazz-style` Saratoga and the so-called Classic Rock Bass, or CRB.

 

The Z variety is a different guitar altogether, though it still benefits from the great design and general affordability of the Kingston range. It has a one-piece neck design and is available in four different colours, from translucent cherry to tobacco sunburst, so musicians who are looking for a certain aesthetic will not be disappointed. In technical terms too, the Z range does not fail to impress with a shielded electronics compartment and Buzz Feiten Tuning System, as well as five different controls. These allow the bassist to adjust volume, bass, middle, treble and pickup pan all from knobs on the guitar itself, all of which are designed to fit in with the bass`s overall look. The number after the Z in the guitar`s description refers to the number of strings on the bass, ranging from four to six, so the Z6 offers the musician the greatest possible range.

Overall, the MTD Kingston Z6 is an excellent instrument, impressively put together with a design that is both aesthetically and practically pleasing with all the necessary features to produce a clear, high quality sound with minimal fuss. The Kingston Z6 is very much a standalone instrument but it would not be out of place in any wider band setup, working effortlessly alongside such mainstays of modern music as http://www.dawsons.co.uk/guitars/brand-fender and all good drum kits. In short, any bassist with good sense will be impressed with the MTD Kingston Z6.

Joke No1

Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?

I don’t want the neighbors to think I’m employing corporal punishment, dear.

Joke No2

What’s the definition of perfect pitch?

When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

Joke No3

What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?

About 10 pounds.

Joke No4

Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?”

The other replies, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”

Joke No1

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it’s electrified.

Joke No2

Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.

Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.

Joke No3

Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?

Saves time.

Joke No4

Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?

Friend: I hope so.

Joke No5

Why are violas so large?

It is an optical illusion. It’s not that the violas are large, just that the viola player’s heads are so small.

Joke No1

What’s the definition of a nerd?

Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

Joke No2

Why do clarinettists leave their cases on the dashboard?

So they can park in the handicap zones.

Joke No3

What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain?

Gifted.

Joke No4

is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.

Joke No5

How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?

You can almost hear them.

Joke No6

How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?

You can’t!

Joke No1

How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb? Three: one to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.

Joke No2

How do you fix a broken tuba? With a “tuba glue.”

 Joke No3

What do you call a male quartet? Three men and a tenor.

Joke No4

What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet? A trombone will bend before it breaks.

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